Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I'm A Screamer!

Growing up, I don't recall my mom ever spanking me. However, I do recall a lot of yelling and screaming. I swore to myself I'd never turn out to be that way just because I thought it sounded so unpleasing. Who wants to listen to someone scream all day? There were also some days that made me feel rather crappy about myself, although I know she never meant to make me feel that way. (She's more than made up for it now) So I told myself never ever would I scream that way at my own kids.........I was wrong.
It seems since the day AD turned two years old, I haven't stopped screaming! The terrible twos were the worst for me. When we finally made it through them I thought for sure the screaming would calm down...Wrong again!

Barely after AD stopped his terrible two actions, AN decided she would kick it into high gear and start causing me the same hair pulling, stressed out, screaming filled days. Then to top it off, the kids' dad and I were going through a divorce so AD was acting out worse then normal.

I blame a lot of the screaming from that year on adjustment. Adjustments for me and adjustments for the kids. I was dealing with being a single parent and the stress that came with it. I was also trying to deal with children who were disciplined differently when they weren't with me.

Things got easier. Things lightened up, but I still find myself screaming several times a day. I have tried time outs, I have tried pretty much anything I can possibly think of. I think some days I forget that I am dealing with a 4yo and a 3yo and the things I might be screaming at them for are not realistic. Other days, I think my 4yo finds it fun to see how far he can really push my buttons before I'll explode! 

After spending the weekend away, I find myself once again screaming until my lungs are sore! I swear if I have to hear one more time, "well dad lets me do this!" or "dad said that" Good for Dad, but Mom doesn't approve and you know that considering I have only told you fifteen hundred billion times not do that.

I sit here and think to myself that some day it will get better, but then I think that their teenage years are right around the corner and the screaming is only just beginning.............CRAP!

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