Thursday, May 19, 2011

30 Days

When I think about it, thirty days doesn't really seem like that long. Doesn't seem like anything major, doesn't seem that life altering (I was wrong)

-My Life In The Last 30 Days-
April 18-My father passed away from his brief battle with lung cancer.
April 19-Funeral planning
April 20-Tears, tears, tears, organizing pictures, picking out clothes, making a CD for the funeral
April 21- The viewing....more tears
April 22- The funeral, my final goodbye.....hardest thing I've done in my life thus far.

I headed back home on April 23, picked my kids up from their father's house and tried everything I possibly could to get my life back to normal. Every Monday, I spent my mornings on the couch, bawling, wondering if things were ever going to get easier. Some days, I picked up the phone and tried to call his cell phone, just hoping to speak to him and hear his voice, realizing that his cell phone is disconnected. 

Two weeks later, my family and I are contacting the funeral home to see if my father's ashes are back yet, trying to figure out when we can go pick them up, pick out urns, etc.

May 14- Was having a very rough day, missing my father like crazy, wishing I could give anything just to talk to him. My mom calls. My grandpa(dad's dad) is in the hospital. I leave for the hospital this day.
May 15- We head back home. Won't know any news for sure until Monday after they run this test
May 16- Still no news. Still no change
May 17- Mom calls. Time to head back to the hospital. Grandpa is not doing well. 
May 18- I say my final goodbye. Grandpa passes away.

Thirty days. I didn't know that my life could change so drastically in a matter of a month. I lost two of the first, most important men in my life. 
I am now grandparent-less and half an orphan. 

Would give anything for good news....11 more weeks and our beautiful daughter will be here and this family can finally have a little piece of happiness and hopefully no more bad news comes our way for a very long time.

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry... that does sound like a REALLY REALLY bad month. Hope missing the important men in your life gets a little easier.