The kicking, punching and smacking has gotten out of control. He hits everyone, not just his sister anymore, but me as well. Today he got so angry because I told him no, that he came over and pulled the pacifier out of B's mouth after she finally had fallen asleep. Of course she started screaming, then he got in trouble and got sent to his room. I now have to force him to stay in there by standing in the door way, otherwise he runs right now. Then he thinks it's a game and laughs the whole time.
If I tell him to do something, he tells me to do it right back. I told him to sit down today, he fires back "you sit down" I'm at my wits end. Everyone keeps telling me he only acts this way when I'm around. He's a fairly decent child when my mom has him and the other night when I went to babysit for my cousin and M stayed home with them, M said he was a completely different kid, but "he's always a different kid when you're not around".
So what do I do that is so different than anyone else? M doesn't have to yell when I'm not home. He doesn't kick, hit or yell at M, like he does me. He sits down and actually listens (for the most part)
I am sick of all the yelling, on my part and his. I wish I could figure out what's going on. I really don't know what do with him anymore. Is this seriously normal 4 year old behavior? With ADHD running on his father's side of the family, I almost wonder if he doesn't have some kind of hyperactivity disorder, but what I don't understand is he's pretty good in preschool. His teacher said they've only had one episode where he was a little high strung but that it wasn't anything out of the ordinary......I just don't know what to do anymore.
Where did I go wrong in parenting this child? AN is starting to pick up on everything he does and I don't want to go through this stage again with her. Something has got to give.
Yes, unfortunately 4 years old can be the WORST age. It was with my daughter. In fact, it was with my 2 friends' oldest kids too. I wonder if being first born has something to do with it, cuz it wasn't as bad with any of our subsequent kids (between me & my friends).
ReplyDeleteAlso, kids always act differently for mom than anyone else. "They" say that your kids act out with you cuz they feel safe. We're supposed to take it as a compliment. Hard to do in the moment, tho.
My best advice as a mom of now 11 & 5 1/2 year olds is be CONSISTENT. Let you child know what you expect and give consistent consequences. Think about what he would really hate to have taken away, and take it away when he misbehaves. For my daughter, it was simply being removed from us, so sending her to her room was a consequence for her.
Oh the other thing is keep your emotions in check. If you can stay calm and level headed in the moment (maybe break down later), it will set a good example.
Good luck!
I wish I had advice to give you here. To me, it sounds like a kid who really, really wants to push boundaries, and since those boundaries are most set with you, that's where he pushes. If that's the case, you just need to hold tight until the phase passes.
ReplyDeleteBut, I'd really recommend going to a counselor and seeing if there's something else that might be brewing.
Kids tend to act their worst around the one that they know will love them no matter what. Or at least, that's what I've been told and what I keep reminding myself.
ReplyDeletemy 4 year old is a pretty good kid but he has his moments where he can really be a butt! However, he doesn't act like that around other people. I agree with Shell and also sometimes kids just need a break from their parents. We get on their nerves just like they get on ours.
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