My Memorial Day Weekend

Since the kids were gone this weekend (every other weekend visitation with their dad) M and I decided to take a trip to go spend the weekend with his family in Iowa. I enjoy our trips there, considering they don't happen as often I was like them to. So Friday night we took off. After driving for 3 hours on Friday night and since both of us had gotten up early Friday morning, we decided to hault the driving for the night and stay at a hotel.

Needless to say I need to remember no matter where we are going to bring my own shampoo, conditioner and body wash. There was barely enough shampoo to cover the hair on my head, plus trying to save some for M and the body wash (bar of soap) made my body feel hard as rubber. Definitely not a pleasant feeling especially if I am up at 5AM in the morning anyway. By 5:15, I was out of the shower getting ready for the day and trying to drag M out of bed (Have I ever mentioned that somedays I feel like I have 3 children instead of 2) By 5:45, he was up and in the shower. As I am trying to get ready I realize "crap no hair dryer" but then remember reading in the hotel bulletin thing ( I know great use of words) that they had hair dryers at the front desk, so I wandered out of my room hair wrapped in towel, looking like death warmed over, in an attempt to find a hair dryer. I arrived at the front desk and her words were like knives "well I'll have to check and see if we have any left" UGHHH! There better be or I'll look like a zombie all day. She comes back 5 minutes later with hair dryer in hand! WOOHOO!

Arriving back at the room, M is out of the shower and laying back down in bed. (REALLY) Getting him back up and out of the room, we head out to our continental breakfast. This was NOT a breakfast. It consisted of doughnuts, raisin bran, cheerios, coffee and juice. I chose a not so healthy looking doughnut and a cup of juice and ate.

We were checked out of the hotel by 6:30AM and on the road. We had another 5 hours to drive, so I wanted to get going a little earlier, but 6:30 will work. M seemed pretty tired and after arguing with him for 15 minutes on who should drive, I grabbed a blanket and took a nap myself (I needed my beauty sleep anyway)

I finally woke up 3 hours away from our destination and offered to drive. He informs me that he is no longer tired so he can handle it. We did however eventually make it to our destination and had a great weekend.

After much debate this weekend, we also mentioned possibly moving to Iowa (we're planning on moving anyway, just havent really decided where yet, theres a couple of places we are interested in) so tonight we are going to do some more pros and cons planning and see if we can come to an agreement of some kind.

Daddy is Better

There are days I struggle with a lot of issues when it comes to parenting. The fighting, hitting, screaming, the mess, etc., but the one thing that really gets under my skin the most as a parent is when my child gets put in a time out and she sits there and hollers for her daddy.

Now I know most kids do this to other parents as well. They want the parent who didn't put them in time out. The difference in my situation, my kids' father and I are divorced.

The kids only ever start doing this "daddy" thing when they get told "no" or put in time out. AD told me yesterday  the famous lines "well dad lets me". Seriously!! I am sorry I am such a big mean monster and don't allow you to have cake a half hour before we are eating supper. I am sorry that I don't allow you to run around outside with no shoes on. I am sorry that I make you pick up your toys.

I know they love their dad, and their father isn't a terrible father, but the way I discipline is different then the way he disciplines. So it makes things hectic around here for a week after they come back from being with their dad on his weekend.

I want to scream at him! Every time the kids throw a "I want my daddy" or "Daddy lets me do this" I just want to pick up my cell phone, call him and scream "could you PLEASE work with me a little bit more on this parenting thing, so our children dont hate me!"

Some days I didn't realize how bad a four year old and a three year old could break your heart.

The First Cut Is The Deepest

Since the weather has been so crappy and gloomy around here the last couple of days, the kids have been cooped up in the house. Yesterday, they decided that they wanted to go next door and play with the neighbor kids since they are out of school now. (Heck yes, I'll take the break)

They were back and forth between houses for a while and then AN and AD finally decided to quit running in and out and play next door for another hour before supper. While I was in the kitchen getting stuff ready for supper the neighbor mom knocks on my door and walks in holding AN. She is crying and has a towel wrapped around her foot.

Mom to the rescue!! I pull the towel away from her foot to try and look at it. I almost passed out. She cut her littlest toe, where the toe meets the foot. ICK! Deep enough for stitches, so we load her into the car and drive 45 minutes to the hospital. (Yes, I know ridiculous, 45 minutes but thats the closest one)

We get into the hospital and she starts screaming because she doesn't want any shots. After soaking her foot for a good 20 minutes the doctor comes in and decides that she is just going to glue it. We got lucky! Had the cut been any deeper we wouldn't have been able to avoid stitches. AN did very well and got two suckers from the nurses for being such a "big girl". We were given instructions on how to care for it at home and left the hospital and drove 45 minutes back home.

The catch....Nobody has any idea what she stepped on. The neighbor says she was playing outside without her shoes on (I've only told them a billion times to leave them on!!) and came in with blood everywhere. Puzzled?!?! Me Too!

30 Days

When I think about it, thirty days doesn't really seem like that long. Doesn't seem like anything major, doesn't seem that life altering (I was wrong)

-My Life In The Last 30 Days-

April 18-My father passed away from his brief battle with lung cancer.

April 19-Funeral planning

April 20-Tears, tears, tears, organizing pictures, picking out clothes, making a CD for the funeral

April 21- The viewing....more tears

April 22- The funeral, my final goodbye.....hardest thing I've done in my life thus far.

I headed back home on April 23, picked my kids up from their father's house and tried everything I possibly could to get my life back to normal. Every Monday, I spent my mornings on the couch, bawling, wondering if things were ever going to get easier. Some days, I picked up the phone and tried to call his cell phone, just hoping to speak to him and hear his voice, realizing that his cell phone is disconnected. 

Two weeks later, my family and I are contacting the funeral home to see if my father's ashes are back yet, trying to figure out when we can go pick them up, pick out urns, etc.

May 14- Was having a very rough day, missing my father like crazy, wishing I could give anything just to talk to him. My mom calls. My grandpa(dad's dad) is in the hospital. I leave for the hospital this day.

May 15- We head back home. Won't know any news for sure until Monday after they run this test

May 16- Still no news. Still no change

May 17- Mom calls. Time to head back to the hospital. Grandpa is not doing well. 

May 18- I say my final goodbye. Grandpa passes away.

Thirty days. I didn't know that my life could change so drastically in a matter of a month. I lost two of the first, most important men in my life. 

I am now grandparent-less and half an orphan. 

Would give anything for good news....11 more weeks and our beautiful daughter will be here and this family can finally have a little piece of happiness and hopefully no more bad news comes our way for a very long time.

A Rummage Sale With Monkeys

21: the number of rummage sales we went to today.

4: the number of hours we spent buying unnecessary items

100: the amount of money I spent today on clothes for baby girl, clothes for AN and clothes for AD.

1: the number of toys the kids were told they could get

15: the number of toys the kids actually got.

900,000: the number of times I told the kids to quit touching stuff today

515,000: the number of times I told the kids to sit down in their seats today.

4: the number of people it took to control my kids today while rummaging.

I try to limit my rummage sales to very seldom when I have my children, but since the kids were with me this weekend(it wasnt their father's weekend) and there were city wide rummage sales going on, I figured we would try it.

Never again will I take two monkeys to a rummage sale...next time we'll just go to the zoo

And The Packing Begins.......

So today kept me very busy. The kids and I got in the car this morning, drove up to our local restaurant, loaded our van with boxes and drove a half hour to my dad's house. The plan for today was to start packing up some of his things so we can shoot for an auction sometime this summer.

See the problem with this, my father had a 7 bedroom farm house and every single room is consumed with things he collected. As my siblings and I grew up and moved out, he filled our room with junk. I literally mean junk. I have never seen so much of it in my life.

We started with one room today. The library as it is called. The amount of books in this room is insane. Currently there are over 25 boxes of just books in that room with many more still left sitting out on shelves, in drawers, on the floor. A never ending cycle of books. 

In the beginning I have to admit, I was kind of excited to start in this room. I like to read, so I assumed that I would end up taking most of the books home. Wrong Conclusion. Some of these books were published back in 1918 and some are so old I would be too scared to even open the cover. Others consist of "John Wayne" characters and I couldn't see myself curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee reading that kind of book.

Children's books. My children will never have to have anyone buy them another book for the next 5 years.

I do have to say I feel accomplished. Between my sister and I busting our asses today, while having a 3 year old and 4 year old present, I feel good! I also didn't feel like I was much help a lot of the time considering I'm 27 weeks pregnant and my ass only waddles around a room. I cant wait to finish this room and start on another room. There will be so much more blogging to come with this process....

Extreme Couponing

So my boyfriend's mother has taken up couponing. The other night she mentioned to me that she got started doing it by watching the show "Extreme Couponing" on TLC.  Last night after I fought my children to go to sleep, I was exhausted so I took myself to bed as well. As I was flipping through the guide on my bedroom TV, I came across this show. So I clicked on it.

Let me just say that I am all for couponing. If I can save 3.00 off a pack of diapers or 60 cents here and there, I am totally okay with that, but watching these women go to the store and ring their grocery bill up to over 1,000 dollars and then pay only like 4.00 total, completely blows my mind.
This is why this would never work for me:

• I don't have time time or patience to flip through inserts several times a week and clip coupons nor do I have the time to get on the internet and spend several hours going to coupon websites to print them off.
• When going to the store my shopping trip is usually a very speedy one. Having AD and AN with me shortens the usual trip from an hour to maybe twenty minutes. It's a get in and get out process. I wouldn't have the time to even get the coupons pulled out that I needed before a fit was thrown.
• Pushing around 3 or 4 carts in the store filled with groceries would be IMPOSSIBLE for me. I have a hard enough time pushing around one cart without running into someone or something.
• Buying things that are unnecessary for me to have in my household would also be a problem for me. I struggle now to find room for the little bit of groceries we do have every two weeks, but buying for example 93 bags of croutons at one time, I'd have to kick one of my children out to have room for all that food.

I am all for saving money. I give kudos to those women who are coordinated enough to save that kind of money while couponing. Me, I don't have the brains for that kind of extreme planning, so I will just keep enjoying the show from my bedroom and every once in a while find a coupon that I can use to get some money off.

And The Sickness Continues...

101-104 fever....Check
Vomiting.....Check
Not Eating....Check
Crying.....Check
Bladder Infection.......Check
Two days of medicine with no results.....Check

She is a very miserable little girl. Hopefully this medicine starts working soon!

Heaven In The Eyes Of a 4 Year Old

My father has been gone now for a little over two weeks. It's been a rough two weeks learning to deal with not being able to pick up the phone and call him, to not be able to drive to his house and see him, just dealing with not having him here. The last couple weeks of his life were spent in the hospital, although alert and conscious, but not pain free. I hesistated bringing my 3 year old daughter and 4 year old son to see him, but thought if I didn't I would regret it later. (Now I'm glad I did). The day he passed was difficult and I explained it to my children the best way I knew how to. Massive tears were shed.

Two weeks later....
Sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the doctor to come in and check on my sick 3 year old, my 4 year old started crying. When I asked him what was wrong, this is how he responded:
Me: AD, what's wrong? Why are you crying?
AD: I wanna see my Papa Steve.
His sister cuts in and tells him that we are going to see him after we are done at the doctor's office.
AD: No we're not AN, Papa Steve is in heaven and we can't see him anymore. Mom, I miss him.
Me: I miss him too AD.
...change of subject.....
We start discussing farm animals. Problem with this, Papa lived on a farm,, although there were no animals, the kids still referred to it as a farm.
AD: What kind of house does Papa live in in heaven mommy?
Me: Kinda like the one he lived in here.
AD: How am I going to see him?
Me: You will have to look up to the sky and know he is there.
AD: How am I going to hear him?
Me: You will just have to listen very closely.

Today was a difficult day. I wasn't sure how I would go about talking to them about their grandfather at such a young age. Some days I think being a 4 year old would be easier than being a 21 year old losing her father.